Director/writer: Rick Jacobson | Rated: R | Review date: 22-Jan-2010

Blood, Boobs, and Booty

Ah yes, the three B’s that when combined make the perfect B-movie. Rick Jacobson’s Bitch Slap is an homage to classic grindhouse action flicks. The campy story follows a band of three gun-toting beauties in the middle of a desert in search of $200 million worth of diamonds. Hel, Trixie, and Camero, played by Erin Cummings, Julia Voth, and America Olivio, are the three smokin’ hot bandits who are just as serious about their payday as they are about their looks. There’s only one problem, underground crime lord Gage (Michael Hurst) isn’t willing to let his stones go easy, nor are his many associates who have agendas of their own.

The film makes frequent flashbacks showing how the ladies got entangled in this sticky situation. With each flashback, a little light is shed on each character’s back story. Don’t expect tremendous depth here though, as each character’s story is as over-the-top and outrageous as the next. These flashback sequences are quite entertaining, as each one has an obscure setting that’s full of greenscreen fun. Through these jumps we also are introduced to a slew of other interesting and bizarre characters.

No opportunity to show off wet, half-naked female bodies is spared. At times the film almost plays out like a softcore porn flick, but still remains tame, as ironic as that sounds, and doesn’t steep to the point of becoming an all-out flesh fest. In fact, there’s hardly any nudity at all, and the parts that are there will probably be missed in a blink. However, the movie goes as far as you can go while covered up. This is a straight up exploitation flick, so the easily offended is probably best off avoiding this one. What the film lacks in realistic dialogue and story it more than makes up for in old fashioned carnal desire.

Aside from the plentiful display of female anatomy the film boasts plenty of blood soaked action. Death by motorcycle wheel, samurai swords, and yoyo-based flying guillotines are among the several elements contributing to the film’s body count. There are also some serious catfights involved. Zoe Bell, of Death Proof fame, was the stunt coordinator and it showed. The fights were surprisingly awesome despite the film’s unserious attitude. The acting and silly language make it all just so much more unique and entertaining. The ladies are excellent and hilarious with their lines as are the actors portraying the outlandish villains.

Bitch Slap takes a page out of Tarantino’s book and puts a more comedic spin on things. The dialogue is cheesy and funny (with phrases like “my noggin’s ‘a throbbin’”) as is the gratuitous violence. The storyline is so over-the-top and full of countless twists and turns that it never has a dull moment. This is not meant to be a serious movie, however that doesn’t mean it can’t be extremely entertaining. If you enjoy sexy women kicking all kinds of ass, intentional overacting, tons of outrageous characters, and Kevin Sorbo, then you’ll love Bitch Slap. This movie is a whole lot of fun when taken as it is.
Official site | IMDb/trailers

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